So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
