he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Say something about gay babies.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
