There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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