fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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