Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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