I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We are two peas in an std pod
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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