If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
