he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Two words: nipple clamps
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