let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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