East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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