hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
