The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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