just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
