Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
