let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
