my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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