Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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