I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
