but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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