And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
