So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Sext me about skeletons
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
