It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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