Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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