i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
