Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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