Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
