just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
