the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
