I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
