Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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