WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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