Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
