Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
