ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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