I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
