End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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