would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
