don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
