Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
