There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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