i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I am one with the molecules
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
