i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
