Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
