i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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