If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I still have a little drunk in my system
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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