can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Life is so much better after having sex.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
