Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
