Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
