How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
