We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
