Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
